Dejected: Feeling downcast or depressed

The knight slumped against the bloodied battlement, his armor cracked like his spirit, staring at the ash-choked horizon where the last of his legion had fallen to the dragon’s wrath—tomorrow, the horde would breach the walls, and he’d no longer care.

She clutched the crumpled letter, its ink smeared by rain, as the screams of the besieged city echoed; her dejection was a leaden weight, knowing her silence had doomed them all.

Downhearted: Feeling downcast or depressed

The rebel captain’s sword trembled in her grip, her once-fierce resolve drowned by the cries of her captured comrades; if her heart failed now, the tyrant’s flames would devour every last hope.

He traced the names etched on the war memorial, each a ghost haunting him—downhearted, he wondered if surrendering to the invading horde would spare the survivors, or merely hasten hell.

Downcast: Feeling downcast or depressed

The spy’s shoulders sagged as the prison gates clanged shut, her mission failed, her downcast eyes avoiding the traitor’s smirk—the plague would spread unchecked, and the capital’s screams would follow her into oblivion.

The orphaned prince stared at the shattered crown, its jewels glinting like dead stars; downcast, he vowed to let the usurper’s armies raze the kingdom rather than kneel.

Gloomy: Feeling sad or depressed

The cryptkeeper’’s lantern guttered as shadows coiled like serpents around the tombs, his gloomy thoughts whispering that the lich-king’s resurrection was inevitable—and he’d be the one to dig the grave.

She wandered the abandoned observatory, its telescopes cracked, maps torn—a gloomy certainty settled: her miscalculations had doomed the starship to drift, lifeless, through the void.

Discouraged: Feeling sad or depressed

The alchemist hurled his failed elixir against the wall, its golden shimmer fading like his dreams; discouraged, he didn’t notice the black veins creeping up his arm—the blight had already won.

The general’s war table lay in ruins, his discouraged mind replaying the ambush; beyond the tent, the enemy’s war drums throbbed, and he knew dawn would bring slaughter or surrender.

Disconsolate: Feeling sad or depressed

The bard’s lute strings snapped, his disconsolate wail echoing through the haunted forest—a dirge for the lover he’d buried too deep, and the vengeful spirit now clawing its way free.

The widowed queen stood at the cliff’s edge, disconsolate, the storm below mirroring her rage; one step forward, and the sea would claim her—or the assassins at her back.

Despondent: Feeling sad or depressed

The inventor stared at the smoldering ruins of her life’s work, despondent, as the warlord’s airships blotted out the sun; she’d burn the blueprints herself before letting them seize it.

He crumpled the last ration ticket, despondent laughter tearing at his throat—the city would starve within days, and he’d be the mayor who signed their death warrants.

Unhappy: Feeling sad or depressed

The diplomat’s smile frayed as the treaty burned in the brazier, her unhappy heart numbed by the envoy’s corpse at her feet; war would bloom at midnight, and she’d orchestrated it.

The thief pocketed the cursed gem, its chill seeping into her bones—unhappy, she realized too late it was a phylactery, and its lich now stirred in the depths below.

Sorrow: Feeling sad or depressed

Sorrow hollowed the warrior’s chest as he lit his brother’s pyre, the smoke staining the sky—the same charcoal gray as the enemy banners unfurling beyond the pass.

The sorceress’s sorrow seeped into the earth, birthing twisted vines that strangled the village; she’d weep for them, if her tears weren’t poison.

Grief: Feeling sad or depressed

Grief was a blade in the assassin’s gut as she cradled her mark—her sister, eyes wide and unseeing—while the client’s laughter echoed: “Now you’ll truly understand loss.”

The astronomer’s grief cracked the celestial orrery, its gears grinding to a halt; without its song, the stars themselves began to die.

Mournfulness: Feeling sad or depressed

Mournfulness clung to the orphanage’s halls, thick as dust, as the headmaster locked the doors—tonight, the plague carts would come, and he’d greet them with wine and a pistol.

The knight-errant’s mournful hymn carried over the battlefield, drawing scavengers and shades alike; his dead king’s crown weighed heavy, and he prayed the wolves would take him too.

Anguish: Feeling sad or depressed

Anguish tore through the mage as his spell misfired, incinerating the village he’d sworn to protect—the ruins shimmered, a dark mirror to the demon’s grin in the smoke.

She screamed her anguish into the storm, fists bloody from pounding the sealed vault door; inside, her child’s voice grew fainter, drowned by the rising flood.

Heartbroken: Feeling sad or depressed

Heartbroken, the pirate captain scuttled her own ship, its sails aflame, marooning them both on the reef—better to drown than let him take the compass that controlled the tides.

The artificer’s heartbroken sob echoed through the workshop as his mechanical daughter stuttered, “Papa, fix me,” before her core went dark—and the city’s defenses with her.

Mournful: Feeling sad or depressed

The mournful dirge of the royal bells shook the city, each toll a lie—the prince lived, hidden, while his double’s corpse bought time before the coup.

Her mournful gaze lingered on the wedding portrait, dagger in hand; by sunrise, she’d trade her husband’s treasonous heart to the witch for a chance to unlive it all.

Pessimistic: Feeling sad or depressed

“We’ll all be bones by winter,” the scout muttered, pessimistic, eyeing the fortress’s cracked walls—a prophecy fulfilled when the first siege engine crested the hill.

The scientist’s pessimistic chuckle grated as the containment field flickered; the alien hive’s screeching swelled, and he wondered which would kill them first—the creatures or the vacuum.

Somber: Feeling sad or depressed

The council’s somber silence fractured as the envoy’s head rolled across the table, the assassin’s blade pointed at the queen: “Your reign ends tonight. The abyss thanks you.”

Somber shadows draped the funeral ship as it drifted into the maelstrom, its cargo a king’s corpse and a live bomb—his final gift to the empire that exiled him.

Sorrowful: Feeling sad or depressed

The sorrowful tide washed over the shrine, its gods long deaf, as the priestess prepared the sacrificial knife—her own wrist, or the stranger’s? The drought would break either way.

He pressed the sorrowful lullaby into the orphan’s palm, a melody that killed kings; when she hummed it, the palace would burn, and he’d be free of his oath.

Sorry: Feeling sorrow, sad or depressed

“I’m sorry,” the traitor whispered, shoving the chancellor into the vault—the last words before the explosion erased a city’s history, and his own guilt.

She said she was sorry as she sealed the bunker, leaving him outside with the mob and their torches; his invention could’ve saved them, but fear made martyrs of them all.

Other words:

Lamentable: The duel was a lamentable farce—blades clashed, and the prince fell, not from steel, but the poison his own betrothed had slipped into his wine.

Their lamentable retreat left the sacred grove undefended; by dawn, the invaders’ axes would turn elder trees into kindling for their witch-pyres.

Anguish: Anguish pulsed in the warlord’s chest, his son’s dagger lodged there; the boy’s eyes mirrored his own, cold and conqueror-keen, as the empire fractured.

Heartache: The heartache of her betrayal festered, a wound that drew the attention of the dream-eaters; each night, they devoured more of his memories, leaving only vengeance.

Hopelessness: Hopelessness choked the resistance as the AI’s drones blackened the sky—their final broadcast, a static-scarred anthem, played to empty streets.

Misery: Misery carved trenches in the soldier’s face as he trudged past crucified villagers, their bodies spelling the enemy general’s name—a message meant for him.

Mourning: The mourning bells never ceased, their sound a weapon; the deeper the city’s grief, the stronger the necromancer’s army grew.

Poignancy: The poignant beauty of the dying starship’s last transmission—a child’s laugh—haunted the Earth long after the alien armada erased them all.

Verbs:

Agonize: She agonized over the kill-switch, finger hovering—detonate the reactor now, murdering thousands, or let the AI ascend to godhood?

Bemoan: The villagers bemoaned the cursed harvest, unaware their lamentations fed the ancient thing beneath the soil; its hunger would soon break free.

Bewail: The king bewailed his dead heir, blind to the assassin’s grin—his grief made the perfect veil for regicide.

Deplore: They deplored the general’s brutality, yet followed his orders into the canyon; the ambush left no survivors, just carrion for the war-beasts.

Grieve: The widower grieved silently, his tears watering the sapling on her grave—a tree that grew twisted, its fruit whispering her secrets.

Groan: The bridge groaned under the refugees’ weight, a metaphor the poet hated; when it snapped, so did his faith in metaphors.

Lament: The nuns lamented their stolen relic, not knowing the thief was their own abbess, her pockets heavy with the demon’s gold.

Moan: The wind moaned through the battlefield’s bones, a sound that drove men mad—or woke something older, hungrier, beneath them.

Mourn: They mourned the fallen starship with vodka and ballads, ignoring the distress signal looping in its ruins—something had hitched a ride home.

Regret: He regretted the oath sworn to a dying man—now he’d burn the world to save it, starting with the orphanage on the hill.

Hope this gives you ideas, and more words to say sad.

Last night, my wife and I stumbled into one of those late-night conversations that keep you thinking long after the lights are out. It started with a deceptively simple question: Do we trust books?

“No.” I replied.

“We don’t trust books—we expose ourselves to them so that we can add to our perspective in how we view the world. We take in their ideas, let them challenge or reinforce what we already believe, and then we decide what to keep.”

She nodded, then added. “And when you're reading fantasy, you're the one in control, right? You decide how everything looks, how it all feels, right?" She asked.

That’s when I realized something about stories, about imagination, and about control.

I said: "No, I think you're only in control of how you want to use that information because you actually let go. That's the beauty of reading books. You let go of your own active thinking, and you allow somebody else to drive your imagination for you, in a controlled and consensual way."

Then came the question that changed the whole conversation. “So what’s the difference between books and TV? Because with TV, you get that same imagination.” - she added.

“No, no. TV is by-passing your imagination. Images are external. Done for you. Giving you less time to react. Less time to back away from a threat to your mind. It shapes your values, or beliefs.” - I said.

As a marketer, ex-media manipulator and a lifelong enthusiast of psychology, philosophy and other “dark arts”: This is where things get dangerous.

Allow me to reveal to you the subtle witchcraft at work - and don’t take my word for it.

With a book, your mind builds the world—it decides the colors, the faces, the emotions. But TV? TV hijacks that process. It hands you the images, the music, the timing. It speeds past your defenses, bypassing your ability to question and adapt, shaping your perception before you even realize it.

And it’s not just my opinion.

Media psychologists and cognitive scientists have been studying this for decades. In fact, notice something next time you watch something:

The industry has mastered this. The Average Shot Length (ASL) to keep your attention, induce any feeling they want you to feel, and develop sympathy for whatever they want you to, is 2.5 seconds.

Sorry, there is no “Age Appropriate” things to watch for kids.

Even in “Age appropriate” cartoons, youtube influencers or documentaries, you’ll notice the angle, the zoom, or the scene changes every 2.5 seconds on average so that you have less time to process critically.

Experts found that the way we consume information—whether by reading, watching, or passively scrolling—fundamentally changes how we think. More importantly, it changes how our children’s minds develop. And if we’re not careful, we’re letting their imagination be outsourced to the highest bidder.


Let’s dive into the science, I call the “dark arts”.
Here is how our brains process information from books versus television:

1. Cognitive Load and Imagination + The Role of Control and Consent

Books require active cognitive engagement, while television is a passive cognitive experience.

This is how it works: Books require active cognitive engagement, while television is a passive experience.

When reading, you interpret symbols, which are the letters, you construct mental images or feelings, trigger memories, and engage in inner dialogue, and fill in details left unsaid. Exactly as cognitive load theory suggests, with self-generated imagery strengthening memory and comprehension. In this controlled, more consensual surrender of your imagination, you determine the pace, interpretation, and depth of your engagement.

By contrast, when watching TV, your brain absorbs pre-selected visual and auditory information at a fixed pace, reducing your ability to pause and reflect before the next stimulus arrives.

In essence, books encourage a deep, negotiated surrender of thought, while TV imposes external storytelling with minimal user control, leading to more automatic consumption of narratives.

Key insight: Books allow for a negotiated surrender of thought, while TV imposes external storytelling with minimal user control.

The difference:

2. The Psychological Effect of Fiction vs. Reality

To our discussion on books containing fiction or lies: Fiction allows for hypothetical thinking, a fundamental way we get knowledge, (human cognition). It enables us to test ideas in a safe environment.

Industry wizards know that the brain treats fiction as real on an emotional level, which is why stories impact us deeply.

But misinformation in books is different. Unlike movies, where visuals bypass skepticism, reading gives more room for critical engagement—we analyze and question as we read. This aligns with research in “epistemic vigilance”, which suggests that people are more likely to question written claims than spoken or visual ones.

Key insight: Books encourage critical thinking, whereas TV delivers emotionally compelling but often unquestioned narratives.

3. Time to Resist Persuasion and Spell Casting

The conversation with my wife hints at a major difference in media influence—books allow time for psychological resistance while TV overwhelms the brain. Persuasion studies suggest that rapid, emotionally charged content (like cartoons or social media videos) lowers cognitive defenses, making it easier for external ideas to shape values and beliefs.

Books, on the other hand, provide the mental space to step back, question, and integrate new perspectives on our own terms.

Key insight: TV reduces time for critical engagement, making it more persuasive than books.

So to resume before I show you the antidotes:

Since the TV era, then internet and now social media, there has been fundamental shifts in media consumption—from active participation (books) to passive immersion (TV) which now resembles more and more like the stories Shamans, Priests and even War Generals told.

This discussion is crucial today, as people consume more information passively, and driven by the desire of their thumb. The ability to choose how we process information—whether we let it shape us or critically engage with it—is more relevant than ever.

How to break the spells, take back thinking, and give control to your kids, using the small 3 percent rule (which is to introduce something small, making it seem new, safe but familiar) :

1. Kids model what they see, not what they’re told. They instinctively want to become you, so you must intentionally turn your phone into a tool for learning, productivity, and communication—not a dopamine dispenser. If you must use your phone, tell them why you will. Explain your use of it and your choices to them. This will also help you in becoming a more intentional consumer type of screen user. Congratulation, you just get yourself an accountability partner.

2. If you have a TV or laptop make it a special event, not a background hypnotist. Treat it like a deliberate experience rather than passive noise.

3. Introduce video as late as possible and slow it down. Almost all platforms like youtube, allow you to slow the video down. A good speed is often 0.75 but sometimes 0.50, to lower that Average Scene Length (ASL) we talked about.

4. Chose more methodical content—animal documentaries, woodworking, block building, gardening, fishing. The images still move, and they’ll still engage, feel, and stare. Trust me, they will get exposed to all the other stuff out there. Stuff you will eventually watch with them someday anyways. Which leads to:

5. Be with them, allow and ask questions and commentaries. Pause. Show them who is in control-not the device or the autoplay. Break the trance.

6. Create a habit of reading before watching. As they grow, require them to read first so their minds lead, not follow. This builds delayed gratification and teaches them to "earn" their dopamine.

7. Never demonize screen time. Criticizing it—especially in public or around friends—only makes it more desirable and risks creating shame and unhealthy relationships with it. Instead, treat it as an intentional, limited exception.

8. Go to a library on a weekly basis. Check your local community centers for activities and story times. Let them pick from the “age appropriate” section. Yes, reading level should be respected, and topics should be filtered.
   
   

How to Explain This to Kids in Simple Words

1. "Your brain is like a movie studio. Reading helps you choose your own movies before TV does it for you."

2. "If you only watch, you borrow someone else’s ideas. If you read first, you grow your own ideas."

3. "Reading first makes you smarter because it lets you think before TV shows you what to think."

4. "We do 1 page for every 10 minutes of TV so your brain gets strong before the screen takes over." (adapt appropriately)

5. "Later, when you're older, you'll be able to decide what’s true and what’s fake because your mind will already know how to think."

And don’t forget, boredom is not evil.

As a parent, I get it: we sometimes need them to focus on something. For peace sake.

But ask yourself this: Can I entrust my child to a Shaman, a Priest or a War Lord without anything going wrong? Screens, may not be evil, but people incentivized to be on screen have their own agenda.

We've always heard that tv has programming.

It was always right in our faces. Don't despair, even if your kid is 5 or 8 or 12, it's not too late to use the 3% technique to reprogram and break the spell over their mind.

Start with yourself. Set an example.

You don't have to be extreme, or perfect: Our first son was about 3 years old when he watch his first youtube video. It was a real life motocross competition, which we slowed down. It was a few days right before we went to a real one, in Poland, Glogow.

We wanted him to make the link. He was mesmerized. Our second son though... was exposed to much more, much sooner because of his little brother and his friends and cousins. But he has not seen a full 10 minute video yet. So give yourself some slack. And be empathetic, there will be withdrawals.

The example part.
Set an example by transforming your phone into a tool for learning, not a mere dopamine dealer. Remember, kids model what they see, so explain your choices and be mindful of how you use screens.

You have no authority if you tell them not to swear, but you do.
If you tell them not to gossip, or smoke, but you do.
If you tell them to exercise, but you don’t.
If you tell them to say sorry…
But you never apologize.

The intention part.
There’s a twist: when your child reads, they might feel in control of their imagination, but in reality, even their “Hogwarts” is built from someone else’s words—J.K. Rowling’s, for instance—not entirely of their own creation. Both books and TV mess with the brain’s reward system, just in different ways.

Be picky.

At least books make your child wait for the good stuff, building patience and depth, while TV gives instant hits that might leave them chasing fleeting dopamine bursts.

The empathy part.

If you, or your child struggles to focus when reading, that’s not solely their fault. Science tells us that self-pacing isn’t always a superpower. Especially for brains prone to ADHD, where too many choices can overwhelm. And while your child’s imagination might seem free, it’s really shaped by their culture, age, and biases; TV can either reinforce or smash those boundaries with its pre-made visuals and rapid-fire storytelling.

Interestingly, TV’s “laziness” in doing the heavy visual lifting isn’t all bad. It can even help neurodivergent brains that struggle with creating detailed mental images.

Yet, books demand trust in the author, locking you into decoding their words rather than co-creating your own narrative. And let’s not forget: while binge-watchers might recall plot twists better than someone slogging through a book, that rapid pace is like poetry in motion—forcing the brain to find meaning in chaos, even if it means bypassing the slower, more deliberate process of active thinking.

Ultimately, your brain wasn’t built solely for books: humans have gathered around fires for stories for thousands of years, and TV’s rapid pacing taps into that ancient wiring.

The key is balance with real life experiences, intentionality and critical discussions or exchanges of opinions.

By introducing a simple habit, like simply reading one page for every 10 minutes of screen time (the 3% rule), you help your child learn delayed gratification, ensure their mind leads rather than follows, and reclaim control over their cognitive development. Remember, it’s not about demonizing screen time; it’s about guiding it, so that both your child’s imagination and your own remain truly in your control.

Anyways, back to your regular programming. ;)

Scientific and “dark arts” Sources:

1. Cognitive Load and Imagination + The Role of Control and Consent:

Cognitive Load During Problem Solving: Effects on Learning

Cognitive Load Theory (John Sweller) - InstructionalDesign.org

2. The Psychological Effect of Fiction vs. Reality:

Emotion and Narrative Fiction: Interactive Influences Before, During, and After Reading

Epistemic Vigilance

3. Time to Resist Persuasion and Spell Casting:

Communication and Persuasion: Central and Peripheral Routes to Attitude Change

Some Attitudinal and Cognitive Consequences of Thought

4. The Impact of Average Shot Length (ASL) on Attention:

Attention and Television

5. The Role of Media in Cognitive Development:

The Impact of Media Use on Children's Sleep, Learning, and Behavior

Extra:

https://pressbooks.pub/techandcurr2019/chapter/cognitive-load/

https://trainingindustry.com/articles/content-development/balancing-mental-demands-cognitive-load-theory-in-training-design/

https://www.ieltsluminary.com/post/reading-books-keeps-mind-active

https://engnovate.com/ugc-ielts-writing-task-2-essays/reading-books-keeps-a-persons-mind-active-6666ebc97f5e0/

https://ieltsing.com/writing/reading-books-keeps-a-persons-mind-active-whereas-watching-films-and-television-is-passive-and-does-not-require-AQN5w

With enough grit, experience and the right knowledge, we can shape them. With too much disrespect towards them, they shape us.

Before I tell you the how, let me tell you one of the many events in my life that shaped me.

I never thought that one of my super powers in life, would be the power to be a friend of change.

Life’s most painful moments would lead to my greatest breakthroughs.

Looking back, I see how I was born into it. Often moving from home to home, schools and countries.

Before I started to fall in love with my wife, my life was one big mess. I had 99 kinds of jobs before I finally honed in on what I do best: seeing, seeking, and leveraging hidden patterns in chaos.

At that time, my wife and I both use to go to a big church where we were really involved. Once we started dating, people asked us when we will get engaged. Once we got engaged they kept asking when is the wedding. Once we got married, they asked us when we will have a child.

We tried. We really tried for many years. Finally, it happened! But 6 months into the pregnancy, a sudden inexplicable infection, took our precious child away. And during that bloody news, my wife was forced into a natural and painful labor. Stillbirth. All while in shock and fighting for her life, as her organs were failing fast. As a reward for her battle: an immediate heart attack and a coma for 5 days.

Her first pregnancy.

I had received many visits while she fought for her life. One church told another, and before you know it, over a thousand people were praying. At night when I went back into the hospital room where we were suppose to welcome our baby, all I could do is fall asleep, on my knees, exhausted, not knowing if I was going to be a widower. All I could see when I closed my eyes, is this vision of a biblical war. It was the image of how the people were commanded by God to send their musicians and worshipers ahead of the army, in the most vulnerable place of the battlefield - and I was there, signing in a whisper, as everyone else I knew sent us their "positive vibes".

I couldn't change anything. So, I bonded with random people in the dark waiting rooms going through their own tragedies in anxiety.

The impossible: We now have 2 beautiful boys and my wife is 97% healthy.

A lady who checked up on me, on us, wrote in the papers: "The husband seems at peace, almost detached from reality. He is very friendly with everyone and seems spiritual."

No Sh*T. What else was I suppose to do? Plus, this was not my first or only encounter with shocking change. I almost died a few times myself, but enough with the stories:

Is it just me, or the more we get exposed to something, the more resilient or numb to it we become?

Let me show you how I see "friendship" with Change.

I promise to deliver on the "how" right after.

See, change is most often unwelcome and feared. All great forces are dangerous, and it’s okay if you can’t control them fully. This explains why we fear losing control and why our relationship with change is often strained.

Once we stop fearing change, we realize that efficiency isn’t always the answer. Because great forces don't travel in straight lines. Sometimes, resistance leads to true progress and sometimes, to death. We must stop obsessing about efficiency and embrace the path of most resistance that will get us there.

Time: The Abstract Force Born of Change.

Consider the abstract notion of time. Time exists because we measure the distance between events. It’s invisible, even non-existent, until something changes to mark its passage. Without change, time doesn’t exist.

Yet some say that time flies: but who gave it wings? If it flies for you, perhaps you've had little control over change, or maybe too few changes to measure. Either way, It’s not too late to have a good relationship with change. There is still time.

We must not only know how to embrace change but also understand what causes it so we can cause it at will.

In my quest out of the hero's complex, I've often seen myself as a villain, and a victim of my circumstance.

I strongly resonated with Bane, one of the bad guys in Batman who said:

But let me tell you, you can force yourself out of it.

Scientific vs. Poetic Forces.

There are two ways to look at the strongest force in the universe: the scientific and the poetic.

Scientists say the strongest force is the strong nuclear force, binding together everything that exists and creating the building blocks of matter. It’s 100 times stronger than electromagnetism and zillions of times stronger than gravity. Interestingly, It's strength is defined by the ability to cause change.

So, a force isn’t strong unless it causes change.

The Power of Love or Hate - Manifested.

He saw love as the force behind morality, connecting people to God and fighting injustice. A message that continues to inspire today.

But love, or hate, like any force, must move from belief to action if it is to transform the world. What if love never manifested itself and remained an unmeasurable intent, an invisible internal emotion or just a simple thought, forever? Without action, without words, it would never change anything.

So how do you harness the power of change unlike the 97% of the people who won't?

Here is the playbook.

1. Shut Up, Be Still and Watch.

In the beginning of my turning point in my career, I wasn’t the loudest person in the room. I was the one quietly observing, listening, and understanding the dynamics. I learned more by watching people than by speaking. I forced myself to let talents do what they specialized in, as I observed the patterns. I eventually went from a brand manager to a COO. I slowly introduced creative sessions, frameworks and management methods. We went from 8 freelancers to over 25 fulltime employee's. We hired new chief editors who often failed:

Too many leaders rush into action, assuming they know the answers before even seeing the problem. I’ve walked into rooms where 97% of people tried to change everything all at once, and failed. The ones who succeeded were the ones who took a step back, paid attention, and truly understood the landscape first. The most powerful thing you can do before making your move? Shut up, watch, and learn. Respect the great forces at work, and respect change or it will be resisted, and your relationship with it will be unhealthy.

2. Hack ONE Bold "3% Move".

The best change doesn’t come from overhauling everything at once. When Kanye West's creative director, Virgil Abloh, was approached by NIKE to redo a collection, he only added zip-ties and "quotes" to the shoes. It was seen as revolutionary.

Because it was 3% new and 97% familiar. A totally psychological hack that works!

It's about finding the little 3% opportunity that can shift the momentum. I’ve been in situations where my first move wasn’t revolutionary; it was small, subtle, and impactful. At Narcity, it wasn’t the entire brand strategy that made the difference, it was one small editorial shift, one toxic person reprimanded, one talent allowed to execute on their vision that made the whole team feel more connected. When you change just a small piece of the process, you can reshape the entire environment. So, take that one bold, small step that shifts the tide. It’s the 3% that creates the ripple effect. And the beauty? That’s the stuff people don’t even see coming.

3. Teach Like a Street Professor.

I’ve learned this the hard way: the best way to learn is to teach. I also see it in the enthusiasm of my son how he explains things to someone right after he just learnt it. And it’s not about lecturing from a high horse.

Be the dumbest person in the room. Ask questions like a child. The right question can birth great change in humanity.

It’s about finding people's true values, being relatable, raw, and real. When I worked with the team at Narcity or when implementing new processes elsewhere, I didn’t sit them down for a formal lesson. I’d walk them through the process in an organic, conversational way, asking questions and letting them ask questions and share ideas. I’ve learned more from those moments of informal “teaching” than any conference I’ve been to.

This is the Street Professor mindset—sharing knowledge as a way to not only teach others, but to deepen your own understanding. When you teach in the trenches, it becomes second nature.

4. Break Stuff Without Permission & Fix It.

If you're not breaking stuff, you're not doing anything worth doing. Too many people are paralyzed by the fear of making mistakes. The most successful people I know have one thing in common: they’ve all failed. A lot. In fact, failure is almost guaranteed, but that's the point. They also don't ask permission, or play by the rules, as long as it's not criminal, then it's just the price you have to pay to play and win.

When we were building Narcity on the shoulders of MTLBlog, we made some huge missteps. We pushed the limits. We broke processes. We messed up. But here’s the thing: we fixed it. We embraced that we were the villains of our local media space. Innovation isn’t about playing it safe; it’s about shaking up the status quo and making improvements on the fly. When you fail, you learn. When you learn, you win. And when you win, you own it.

5. Celebrate and Credit LOUDLY Because Victory Fuels Culture.

When things go right, you have to celebrate—loudly, unapologetically, and with everyone who made it happen. During my time as COO at Narcity, we didn’t just recognize the wins—we threw them into the spotlight.

We had a visible chart of live website traffic per post, per author. When we hit big traffic numbers or a major campaign landed, it wasn’t just a “great job” in a meeting. We were public about it. We shared it across the whole company. And when our strategies worked, even other magazines would write about it. That sense of collective pride is what builds culture. You don’t just celebrate the big wins, you also credit the people who made it happen. All great leaders find ways to not credit themselves, (unless they take the book "48 Laws of Power" literally, take credit that is not theirs, and become narcissists.)

One book I consider my business bible, is Good to Great by Jim Collins. This approach fuels motivation, sparks innovation, and builds a culture that doesn’t fear failure because they know success is just around the corner.

6. Cancel Perfection.

97% of people get change wrong because they’re focused on the wrong things. They try to make everything perfect, all at once, or they don’t give themselves permission to fail. But the reality is, perfection is overrated. It's like the fear of not knowing what people will think if they find a mistake, that stops them. Change doesn’t need to be perfect to be effective. It's the 3% that counts. Change that 3%, and you change everything. Ruthlessly pursue that small shift in your process, in your culture, or in your mindset, and the rest will follow. That's how you make an impact. That's how you lead change while everyone else stays stuck.

This playbook isn’t about being perfect, it’s about embracing imperfection, taking action, and hacking the 3% while building a healthy relationship with change. Start small. Move Slow. Break things. Teach others. Celebrate loudly. And make those incremental changes that leave the rest of the world behind.

We’ve seen this playbook before. I’ve used it often to guide influencers.

• Kanye’s 2009 VMAs stunt: Storming Taylor Swift’s stage.

• Virgil Abloh’s “3% Rule” (to which this website pays homage) : Redesigning Nike sneakers by just adding zip-ties and calling it revolutionary.

But here’s the twist: The same act can be trash or art, crazy or genius, depending on where you plant the flag.

Virgil, who was Kanye West’s creative director, said it best:

I’ve always struggled with saying more, to make a point. Even adding more layers of instruments on songs I produced.

I’m working on being more concise.

Because I’ve seen how stripping things to their bare fundamentals, is closer to perfection than adding.

A candle surrounded by trash in a garage, is trash.

A candle on an empty display, makes us stop, feel and think.

Censori’s Grammys “striptease” follows the same script:

• The Garage: If she’d worn this to Walmart, we’d call it a cry for help.

• The Gallery: At the Grammys? Suddenly, it’s a “statement” dissected by Vogue Magazine and breaks the internet.

So what’s the lesson for the rest of us?

The 3% Playbook for You

Small changes + the right context = a game-changer.

• Hailey Bieber’s “glazed makeup” trend? Shiny lip gloss, rebranded.

• Apple's first iPod? A basic MP3 player with a click wheel.

• AirBnB’s better better pictures and descriptions on display at a dedicated platform designed for renters.

Your Turn:

What’s the “candle” in your life or career that’s sitting in the garage?

• A skill dismissed as “basic”?

• An idea deemed “too weird” for your industry?

• Ask yourself what no one would dare to do.

Rebrand it. Relocate it. Reignite it.

Strip it or it’s surrounding. The 3% Rule isn’t a gimmick—it’s a survival manual.

When you look at a complex problem, or a big project, don’t forget that "stripping" works.

A small brave tweak turns the familiar into something new.

It’s not like we haven’t seen “naked stunts” before, this is why change, when embraced, designed and mastered proves it’s self time and time again, to be the greatest force in the universe.

Fall apart.
Cry in your car.
Question everything.

But don’t stay there.

Get up.
Make one small change.

Introduce a metaphorical 3% change into something old, to safely and easily make it new.

Why easily, and why using this 3% rule?

Because if you change too much, too fast, it will swing back into it’s safe space.

Because by changing just a little at a time, it won’t be scary.

Resilience in a sentence is:

Getting back up when life knocks you down.

Change is the greatest force in the universe.
Embrace it. Influence it. Master it.

Change something.
And watch the world bend just enough to meet you at least halfway.

That night, we fled. We moved into my grandfather’s small apartment temporarily before settling into a two-room apartment with no bathroom, no kitchen, no plumbing. A stove and just enough space to get by. A few months later, we boarded a train and moved to Greece, where we spent the next three and a half years living at two different addresses.

I didn’t realize it then, but these were my first lessons in what would become a lifelong theme:

Embracing change.

As adults, we don’t always talk about how closely our identity is tied to what we do. Cultures around the world have literally named families after their professions—Smith, Baker, even Borowski.

In Polish, Borowski is associated with a pine forest. Maybe it represented where my ancestors lived or what they worked with—merchants, woodworkers, or something else entirely. The point is, what we do often becomes who we are.

That connection makes change deeply uncomfortable. So when I lost the job I thought I’d retire from... No, let me put it this way: When a knight is injured or retired, what does he do when the battle is over? How does he find a new purpose?

The love of my life, my wife asked me: What do YOU want to do now?

…and I kept answering like that knight still primed for war.

Over the past five years, I led all the marketing, branding, and business development efforts for a software company. While navigating the challenges of a shifting industry, my duties often called for:

Influencing change.

On that journey, I learned this: Who we are isn’t confined to a single role—it’s rooted in a clear purpose. We are more than our titles or professions. We are people who prefer a clear path, even though that’s not always what life provides.

When people ask what I do, I often say, “a mix of marketing, management, and psychology.” But those are just tools. I’m not a marketer, manager, or psychologist. These are skills I’ve honed over time to fulfill any mission, for anyone.

The beauty of those tools is that they’re transferable. Every lesson I’ve learned—proposing ideas, building teams, solving problems—has prepared me for whatever comes next.

At that software company, some days felt like coasting, like being part of a family working together to explore and grow. Other days felt like hanging on for dear life during a storm, full of pressure and challenges. But through it all, I realized the power of adaptability. Every moment of change is an opportunity to collect new tools and build a stronger foundation.

This is why I’ve decided to share this story—not to dwell on the past but to connect with anyone facing their own moments of change.

Change will test you. It will make you question your identity, your value, and your future. But it also hands you something extraordinary: the chance to rewrite your story.

And when you get good at it, you’ll learn to:

Master change.

The title of this project is a homage to the 3 Percent Rule—a metaphorical, not mathematical, principle used by creative giants like Virgil Abloh, Kanye West’s main creative director. It’s the art of introducing a little new into something familiar to make it brilliant.

Thank you for embarking on this journey with me.

Remember: You are not defined by one job, one title, or one setback. You are the sum of everything you’ve learned and experienced, the tools you’ve gathered, and the resilience you’ve built.

So, here’s my question: When change comes for you, what will you do with it?

A week ago, I got laid off.

This isn’t a sob story—it’s a turning point. You see, the most meaningful moments in my life always came after I was either profoundly fed up or forced to adapt. Those are the times when I grew, built, or discovered something that truly mattered. And this is another one of those moments.

Some of you might know me for my take on the 3 Percent Rule, a simple, empathetic framework to introduce change without resistance. Writing that was a psychological relief, not because I had all the answers, but because I’ve lived through enough change to see what sticks.

So, why this post? Why now?

Because I’ve started to write here.
Because I want to share the full story.

Because I want to make sense of the chaos and invite you into my journey of figuring out what’s next, while learning what it takes to triumph over trials.

Here’s the deal:

I’ll be writing about what it’s like to rebuild when the ground underneath you gives out. Think of it as public therapy—a space where I journal my thoughts, my progress, my actions, and, yes, my failures. There will be lessons, strategies, and the raw, unfiltered stuff that most people shy away from sharing.

But as a former COO of a cool canadian publishing and media company (in the wikipedia page, you’ll find my name), and lifelong marketing strategist, I will also share prescriptive advice on how I often influenced change in my professional as well as personal life.

If you’re here for the polished success stories, this might not be your thing. But if you’ve ever felt stuck, lost, or forced to adapt—if you’ve been “fed up” enough to crave real change—then this is for you.

There will be no fluff. No filler. Just honest, actionable ideas. Ok, maybe some fluff.

What you can expect:

• Insights about navigating change and building something meaningful.

• Personal stories about what’s working (and what’s failing).

• A front-row seat to my experiments, pivots, and discoveries.

• And a sneak peak into the lives of some of my famous, ambitious, extraordinary friends.

I’m not doing this because I have all the answers. I’m a process-oriented, deep generalist and curious overthinker. So I’m doing this because I want to find those answers—and because I believe that sharing the process can help others do the same.

So, let’s see where this goes. Together.

-Adrian